“Age should be counted in levels instead of years. It’s much cooler to reach Level 50 than to turn 50 years old.” – Random meme
Today is February 20, 2020 – 02/20/2020 – the symmetry feels momentous. For me it certainly is – today I reached Level 50.
Embrace the Adventure
Reflecting on my 50 years, I’ve had good times and tough times. As I get older, I more and more understand that life is what we make of it – and I want to create an awesome second half!
From here on out, I will live by the motto ‘Embrace the Adventure’.
‘Embrace the Adventure‘ will touch every part of my life.
How will I embrace the adventure? I have no clue, but I’ll figure it out as I go.
One small step on the adventure is sharing this personal article – which happens to be my 100th article on my blog Science of Working.
As an executive coach and leadership consultant, I want to help build better workplaces by helping leaders grow and enhancing inclusion. With clients, we will explore their goals and needs and get them where they want to go.
In my personal life, I want to find more fun, laugh more, enjoy my awesome family and support causes I believe in.
I choose adventure over fear, learning over stagnation, kindness over indifference and collaboration over competitiveness.
My non-scientific theory of peak phases
I have a personal, completely non-scientific theory that every person peaks at a certain phase in life due to personality. People can have lots of great phases, but one generally stands out as the one in which they hit their groove.
Think about the kids who rule the playground, collect skinned knees and revel in telling knock-knock jokes. Those kids have something figured out about living to the fullest in childhood.
Other people peak in high school or college through cliques and sports and spend the rest of their lives reliving those glory days.
I always thought that my peak phase would be my 30s – raising young kids and hitting a stride in my career. It turns out that sleep deprivation and my natural competitiveness did me in. Those were wonderful and exhausting years, but I don’t think they were my peak.
My peak years are starting now. I’m done proving myself, and my competitiveness has mellowed. Now, I am much more focused on contributing to the world and connecting to others.
Reflection of five decades
In this post, I’m going to indulge a quick look back at my 5 decades and the key lesson from each.
Decade 1: Do it myself!
My early years benefitted from some lucky breaks such as being born in the US during an era when women had a chance (with a lot of extra effort) to pursue careers. I was also born into a stable and loving family. With a college professor as a father, my family was not wealthy but always valued education.
My third lucky break was to win the game of genetic roulette. My older brother lives with serious physical and mental disabilities. He lives his best life, but I am always aware of my genetic advantages.
My quirky personality and family dynamics contributed to me having a strong passion for doing things for myself. I was fiercely independent from an early age. My parent wryly and repeatedly told me that my first consistent sentence was “Do it myself!” – with the exclamation point always included.
Decade 2: Being a weird girl in a conforming world
With no interest in fashion, clothes, make up or most pop culture, I never fit the female stereotype. Instead, I liked to read fantasy and science fiction, enjoyed learning and passionately debated deep questions.
I was serious, studious, intense and quirky instead of being pretty, perky and sweet like everyone seemed to want me to be.
There were few visible role models of women who broke the stereotypes. Before the Internet and social media, it was harder to find niche groups with similar interests.
I struggled to find my place in a world in which I did not seem to fit – sometimes I still do.
Regrettably, I tried to fit in by doing things like rushing a sorority at the first university I attended. A sorority would have been a disaster, but they wisely rejected me. The rejection hurt at the time, but led to me transferring to a university that was a much better fit for my geeky soul.
Decade 3: How to think
My third decade taught me how to think. I graduated from Rice University with a fantastic undergraduate experience and then spent 6 years in graduate school at Michigan State University.
Education is less about the facts that you learn and more about learning to think. I learned how to do research, evaluate ideas and hypotheses, construct theoretical models, make rational arguments and write about it all.
I consider myself well-educated – not because I have a PhD – but because I know how to think. My learning agility and ability to think provides me with agency to navigate the world and make an impact.
Decade 4: Build a family and career
In my 30s, I started a family and built a career. Kids will upend your life, make you feel exhausted, inadequate and completely shift your world. They also bring magic, joy and wonder that tops any other experience.
With significant effort, I balanced my family with building a career – first in consulting and later working inside corporations. Building my career meant living in three different states and eight houses, traveling, time away from my kids and lots of hard work.
After a few years of being dual-career parents, my husband and I decided he should become a stay-at-home Dad. That decision worked for us and relieved the pressure. It became easier to balance everything and enjoy our lives.
Decade 5: Resilience
My last decade brought a series of significant challenges and taught me resilience. We moved back to my hometown of Houston to be near my parents and brother. Over the years, they faced multiple cancer treatments, surgeries and hip replacements.
In August 2017, our home was flooded and destroyed by Hurricane Harvey and the related dam releases. We waded out of our home and into a multiple-year journey of recovery and rebuilding.
In addition to the flood, we had one three-week span in 2018 in which my father had brain surgery, my son graduated from high school and we moved into a new house.
Dad lost his 3.5-year battle with lung cancer in February 2019. But even the darkness of death brought light – such as watching my mother’s strength as she adjusted to her new normal and built a life on her own.
Last summer I left my corporate job to launch a solo executive coaching and leadership consulting business. All of these transitions led me to mid-life clarity and my decision to embrace the adventure.
Next decade: embrace the adventure.
After a decade of practicing resilience, I’m looking forward to a decade of adventure. My goal is to laugh more, find the fun in everyday activities and use my work to create positive vibes by supporting good leadership, building better workplaces and spreading kindness.
I will not go gently into the next half of my life. I intend to go noisily, happily and spreading joy to others.
At Level 50 and beyond I want to enjoy life more – I plan to be up to my eyeballs in adventures, laughter and happiness. I intend to break a few rules, try some stuff I’ve been too busy to do and maybe shock a few people.
Presuming I don’t get run over by the proverbial bus, I still have decades left and will embrace the adventure. I want people around me to ask in benign confusion ‘What is she up to now?’.
Oh my goodness! An amazing article.